Some highly non-PC musings on sport

Or: If I'd want to see pretty figures in tights I'd watch WOMEN figure skating

I keep hearing time and again that women soccer is oh-so "technical". If I want to see women getting technical I'll watch figure skating or ballet, not some dykes fighting for a ball getting all sweaty and dirty. If I want to watch butch women I… well, I don't.

Now figure skating! Let's talk about men's figure skating. I don't find that very entertaining as well. Male figure skaters look like gays, they act like gays, some even SOUND like gays, for example "Elvis Stojko". Now what sort of a name is THAT? Surely his parents decided when their little blessing was born: "We'll name him Elvis, then he'll be gay and can become a figure skater!"

Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against gays, some of my best friends are gay, I just don't want to look at them figure skating. If I'd want to see pretty figures in tights I'd watch WOMEN figure skating.

Yeah, hunky!

What is the essence of sport? I think it is performance first with aesthetics a very close second. All the feminists out there may crucify me now, but what sense makes a sport, which makes a sad joke of aesthetics and at the same time will never grant, for biological reasons, women a chance for top performance? Women's weightlifting comes to mind. If somebody can tell me WHY a woman should want to undergo such an uglifying and ultimately senseless ordeal, I will be forever grateful.

Yeah, hunky!

I am not, mind you, speaking out for the sissyfication of women's sports. There are cases where women outdid their male counterparts once they were allowed to compete in a sport that had once been considered unsuitably for the weaker sex, and they did — literally and metaphorically — beautifully so. A notable example is three day eventing, which once started as a military competition for commissioned officers (I thematized the beginnings of this sport here, by the way) and remained a men's domain until the English girls arrived in the late Sixties and early Seventies. Lucinda Prior-Palmer, Jane Bullen, Virginia Holgate, Princess Anne -- entire chapters from Burkes Peerage & Landed Gentry showed their male competition the hoofs of their horses. None of them ever stroke me as masculine, in spite of all the silly (although not entirely untrue) jests about Princess' Anne's horsey appearance. (I've seen her in the flesh at the Munich Olympics 1972 and, although she's not "pretty pretty", she's not a bit butch either. Gorgeous hair, too!)

Zara Phillips, the Queen's pretty grand­daughter, who is, like her mother was 30 years ago, at the top of eventing in her country, and thus the world.

Another highly performance-orientated sport, which is, nevertheless, an aesthetic pleasure to watch, is fencing, or at least so I think.

And that applies, amazingly, to both sexes, even though the men don't look like a bunch of queers in tights and the women not like bulldykes.